By Chris Jones
Even though when the soul sent a part of itself into the lower dimensions it split from an androgynous being into male and female components, each component contains the other and experiences lifetimes as both men and women. This article is about the wounded female aspect of the soul and the steps of recognition required to start the return to healing and wholeness.
As a base for this work it is a good idea to start by making a list. Think about the breakup of past relationships and list the feelings you experienced as a result of the separation. The act of making the list will allow you to experience these emotions again and acknowledge them in a safe environment. Once you have made your list, affirm each item by speaking it aloud.
You will most likely find that a lot, if not all of the things you have listed are based around the fear of loss. The reality is that we are all connected to each other in our inner world, but facing seeming separation from a loved one in our outer world can be very painful. In our next relationship we may introduce conditions upon our partner to try and protect ourselves from losing them. Marriage can be used in this way, and the traditional vows made in many cultures are nothing more than a list of conditions we place upon out partner, a contract which binds the two together. Nature is not like this, in nature there are natural cycles, and the joining of two people and their separation are natural cycles. We may have many relationships over a lifetime and each person contributes to our understanding according to our state of being at the time. The ending or redefining of a relationship doesn’t have to be a painful thing, it allows us to move forward to new learning and new ways of being.
Once we have placed conditions on love, the love our partner gives to us can no longer be given voluntarily. Love given is now a result of meeting conditions, or in the very least you can no longer be sure that love is given freely. In order to have a healthy relationship one should not possess the other. Your partner belongs to themselves, and the relationship should be about joining with another rather than about ownership. In allowing the other to be free we can be sure that the love we receive from them is authentic.
There are other benefits in allowing our partner to be free. Everyone needs to take time out and spend energy on themselves at times. If you don’t isolate the relationship for fear of loss, the needs of your partner can be met by others outside the relationship. While you take time out for yourself your partner need not feel abandoned if they are allowed to interact with friends and family without incurring your insecurity and judgement. This sharing is beneficial to both parties.
The fear of loss can result in physical manifestations such as storing excess body fat and hoarding. By facing our fear and recognising it we can release it and develop healthier attitudes.
The female aspect may work on this concept over several lifetimes. In the first lifetime the female is wounded. She perceives a loss of love because she falls for the illusion of separation and forgets that love has simply hidden itself from the outer world. She projects the hurt onto the male and blames him for her feelings. This results in a loss of empowerment, she has given control of her feelings to another and now feels vulnerable. The fear of loss sets in and the wounded female becomes possessive, jealous and prone to infatuation.
Because the female aspect now feels vulnerable, in subsequent lifetimes she becomes more masculine in order to protect herself. Her failure to recognise the dark as being a part of herself leads her to project these qualities onto people in her outer world. The outer world is now a place of fear, reflecting the fear she refuses to acknowledge in herself.
At some point the female aspect incarnates as a man and fully embraces the opposite polarity. Now she finds herself as the perpetrator. Now she recognises the things she blamed the male for in herself, she is able to perceive the wound from the male perspective. Through understanding the male she feels strong, safe, and empowered enough to unearth her female aspect. Now she can heal her wound and work towards reaching a balance of energy, integrating both genders into her sense of self. Once balance has been achieved the female aspect is free to meet and join with her twin male counterpart in the outside world, and they can begin the journey back to oneness together.
©2012 Chris Jones
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